Ah, Bernal, I’d love to join all your clubs, like the Bernal Heights Democratic Club to discuss politics, or the Bernal Heights History Project to pontificate about your glorious past. I’d love to attend all your community events, such as the semi-regular Bernal Economic Forums put on by the guys behind Bernal Bucks. I’d love to read all your blogs, and partake in all your culture, such as the Bernal Heights Outdoor Cinema festival, which has its closing night tonight (Monday, October 4th) at El Rio, (you should check it out, the program looks awesome!) and Music on the Hill which actually has just moved last year to Diamond Heights but remains very Bernal-centric. I’d love to always attend Bernaling Man (secret roving wine party); I’d love to eat only Bernal Butter; have all my knives sharpened at Bernal Cutlery; do all my yoga at Bernal Yoga; stretch at fit Bernal fit; buy pet food at Bernal Beast and purchase all my medical marijuana at The Bernal Heights Collective(Smurfberry? What the heck is that???). Ah Bernal, how do I love thee? If only there were more time in the day, more days of the week…alas, as much as I take part in your special ways, I still must miss out on even more… But I know you are out there, with open arms, inviting me along to whatever adventures there may be. Thanks, Bernal.I am not sure how the movie industry decides what to release, but this week I got about 20 million kids movies. Hey parents, do you still rent movies here? If so, this is a good week to come in. In the kids section, there is 15+ new movies including a new season of CHARLIE AND LOLA, bunches of holiday related films, and new Dr. Seuss, Charlie Brown, Phineas and Ferb and more! Even in the New Release section, there is lots of family oriented stuff, such as the 2010 remake of THE KARATE KID, starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. In the updated version, the kid now lives in China, where the local bullies are making life miserable for him, until he meets Mr. Han, who teaches how to stick up for himself. Also out this week is THE SECRET OF KELLS, an Academy Award nominated animation film about a kid living in medieval times. Full of amazing art design and a magical story, it is about enlightenment triumphing over evil.
For the adult set, another remake is here, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. Freddy Krueger is back in this tale about a demon killing people in their sleep. Yikes!
Three noteworthy television titles are here this week, COMMUNITY: SEASON ONE, about a eclectic community college, MODERN FAMILY: COMPLETE FIRST SEASON a mockumentary-style comedy about three families and CAPRICA: 1.0, the long-awaited for spinoff of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA about the humble beginnings of artificial intelligence.
Alrighty, that’s all folks, hope to see you at the store.
BHOC
Love and Kisses,
Ken
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............//NEW RELEASES//............
30 DAYS OF NIGHT-DARK DAYS.
Horror.
Diora Baird/Mia Kirschner.
Directed by Ben Ketai.
* Stella survived the horrible massacre of her little isolated town in Alaska, but very few people believe her story of vampires and murder…However, she does meet a small group of survivors who are planning a revenge attack on the vampire population of Los Angeles. Stella joins them, and prepares to lose what little she still has to destroy the bloodsucking mother uckers (too many mother uckers, ucking with my shi!).
FADE TO BLACK.
Drama/Mystery/Noir.
Diego Luna/Danny Huston/Paz Vega/Christopher Walken.
Directed by Oliver Parker.
* Ah, the second fictional Orson Welles film to hit the shelves in the last couple months…In this one, Welles (Huston) has just broken up with Rita Hayworth and has traveled to Italy to try to put his life back together…Unfortunately, when an actor is murdered on his film set, he is pulled into all sorts of dark conspiratorial complications..
THE KARATE KID (2010).****BD****
Drama.
Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan.
Directed by Harald Zwart.
* Remake alert: Watch the original! It so rules. The new one? Not sure, but it stars the very cute child of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Jaden. In this updated version, Dre (Smith) ends up living in China with his mom, who has brought them there for a job. Unfortunately: bullies! In fact, in a sure sign of something, the concept of bullying actually appears in the language of the PG rating this film received from the MPAA. If anyone out there has an in-depth understanding of the rating system, and would like to give a talk on it during business hours to the Four Star community, let me know; I think everyone would be interested. Where was I? Ah, yes, Dre is being bullied by the mean oppressive Chinese government, or rather, some Chinese kids and he meets Mr. Miyagi (in this case Mr. Han, played by Jackie Chan) who teaches how to kick some ass, which he then does. Probably, a sequel remake is in the works…
THE LAST RITES OF RANSOM PRIDE.
Western.
Lizzy Caplan/Peter Dinklage.
Directed by Tiller Russell.
* In this low budget Western, a woman is trying to bring her dead lover home to be buried. And just as importantly, Peter Dinklage’s official character name is: The Dwarf. That must really piss him off.
MID-AUGUST LAUNCH.
Comedy/Drama/Foreign (Italian).
Gianni Di Gregorio/Valeria De Franciscis.
Directed by Gianni Di Gregorio.
* A middle aged Italian man, living in Rome with his henpecking Mother struggles to define himself and spends an increasing amount of time daydreaming at the local pub. This film was pretty heavily decorated worldwide on the festival circuit.
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010).****BD****
Horror.
Jackie Earle Haley.
Directed by Samuel Bayer.
* For a minute I thought this film was about the time I got pulled over by the cops on Elm Street the first day I had my driver’s license because I had my brights on by accident. Oh, that was such a nightmare! I got a ticket, and the cop was condescending and oppressive, and I almost cried! Then, I looked at the DVD box and saw that it was actually a remake of an 80’s film about other horrific experiences that also happened on Elm Street…Involving a very mean man who harms people terribly in their dreams resulting not in expensive therapy bills, but instead, death.
OXFORD MURDERS.
Suspense/Crime.
Elijah Wood/John Hurt.
Directed by Alex de la Iglesia.
* A university professor (Hurt) and a student at Oxford (Wood) try to solve a series of murders that somehow involve mathematic symbols. Which I completely understand, cuz I never feel quite as homicidal as when I see or hear about imaginary numbers.
THE SECRET OF KELLS.****BD****
Fantasy/Adventure/Animation/Family.
Brendan Gleeson/Evan McGuire.
Directed by Tomm Moore and Nora Twomey.
* This Academy-award nominated fantasy animation story is about Brendan, a child living in a medieval outpost that is under siege by barbarians. He meets an illustrator, who is working on a secret and powerful book, and is pulled into his adventure, traveling into a dark woods where mythical creatures live.
SPLICE.****BD****
Sci-Fi/Thriller/Suspense.
Adrien Brody/Sarah Polley/Delphine Chaneac.
Directed by Vincenzo Natali.
* Elsa and Clive (Polley and Brody) are two scientists who throw caution to the wind when the create Dren (Chaneac) a critter formed when they splice human and non-human DNA together to form something altogether new.
YOGA.
Horror/Foreign (Korean).
Su-yeon Cha/Daniel Choi.
Directed by Jae-yeon Yun.
* There will be super duper serious consequences if you don’t follow your yoga teacher’s rules! And we are not talking about a pulled hamstring, or sore shoulder muscles.
............//DOCUMENTARY/............
BASEBALL: THE TENTH INNING.
Documentary/Sports.
Directed by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick.
* This is an addendum to Burns previously released miniseries epic: BASEBALL. From Amazon.com’s product description: 1992 - 2009: As the tumultuous twentieth century is drawing to a close, and a new millennium begins, baseball continues to reflect the complicated country that created it. In an age of globalization and speculation, the players and the owners wage a cataclysmic battle over money and power; dazzlingly talented Latin and Asian stars transform the game; Cal Ripken becomes the game's new Iron Man; sluggers Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds do things that have never been done before; the Yankees build a dynasty while their arch rivals, the Red Sox, stage the greatest comeback in history. And in September of 2001, at a time when America seems most threatened, baseball offers the hope that things will one day return to normal. The national pastime is more popular, and more profitable, than ever, but suspicions and revelations about performance enhancing drugs keep surfacing, threatening the integrity of the game itself. Still, through it all, baseball endures, a game of infinite possibility and surpassing beauty.
THE OATH.
Documentary/International Intrigue.
Salim Hamdan/Abu Jandal.
Directed by Laura Poitras.
* This intense documentary tells the story of two men, Salim Hamdan and Abu Jandal, who were Osama Bin Laden’s bodyguard and personal driver and whose fates diverged dramatically post-911. Won Best Documentary Cinematography at the 2010 Sundance Festival and was nominated for its Grand Jury Award.
............//TELEVISION/............
COMMUNITY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON.
Television/Comedy.
Joel McHale/Chevy Chase/Gillian Jacobs.
Created by Dan Harmon
* A community college with its tripped out staff and freaky students is the setting in this NBC comedy about a lawyer who is forced to go back to school. Somehow this comedy has an 8.8 (out of 10) rating on IMDB. That is very amazing.
CAPRICA-SEASON 1.0.
Television/Sci-Fi.
Alessandra Torresani/Eric Stoltz/Magda Apanowicz.
* The BATTLESTAR GALACTICA spinoff has finally made it to the video store. In this sci-fi series, the action takes place 50 years before its predecessor, on the peaceful planet of Caprica, where two families deal with the far-reaching consequences of a huge scientific breakthrough.
MODERN FAMILY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON.
Television/Comedy.
Ed O’Neill/Sophia Vergara/Julie Bowen.
Created by Christopher Lloyd (not that Christopher Lloyd) and Steven Levitan.
* Done in the same mockumentary style as THE OFFICE and PARKS AND RECREATION, this Fox comedy is about three families and their very humorous struggles to fit into to reality. This was on in the store a lot this last week and has been cracking everybody up.
............//KIDS/............
BACKYARDIGANS-CHRISTMAS WITH THE BACKYARDIGANS.
BRATZ-PAMPERED PETZ.
CHARLIE & LOLA-VOLUME 11-REALLY REALLY NEED ACTUAL ICE SKATES.
THE GARFIELD SHOW-ODIE OH.
THE GARFIELDS PET FORCE 3D.
THE JOLLY HOLIDAY HIT FAVORITES!
OLIVIA-MERRY CHRISTMAS OLIVIA.
PEANUTS-CHARLIE BROWNS CHRISTMAS TALES.
PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR-I WAS A PENGUIN ZOMBIE.
PHINEAS & FERB-VERY PERRY CHRISTMAS.
SPACE CHIMPS 2.
SPOT-SPOTS MAGICAL CHRISTMAS.
WUBBULOUS WORLD OF DR SEUSS-CATS ADVENTURES.
WUBBULOUS WORLD OF DR SEUSS-CATS MUSICAL TALES.
WUBBULOUS WORLD OF DR SEUSS-THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR IN HERE.
............// NEW ON BLU //............
GRINDHOUSE.
* Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s double feature gore-fest featuring the films PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF.
THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS.
* 1992 Michael Mann film starring Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeline Stowe. Won the Academy Award for Best Sound that year.
THE ROBOCOP TRILOGY.
* Andrew says the original ROBOCOP is still a must see, I haven’t seen it since the original release, but I remember it being pretty awesome.
ROCKY.
* The first of three of the Rocky films we are getting on BD (Rocky 4 is back ordered – DON’T PANIC!).
ROCKY 2.
ROCKY 3.
............// REPLACEMENT DISCS//............
PRISON BREAK: SEASON ONE.
SIX FEET UNDER: THE COMPLETE THIRD SEASON.
****
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